Melanchol Into Fall

Fall approaches, melancholy increases. I thought it was sort of a seasonal affective disorder thing, but I realize-perhaps a new-that part of it is just a spectacular beauty of fall to me, the engagement of all the senses, those cool twilights with the sound of the geese the smell of fires burning leaves crackling, tidying up to prepare for winter. It is so beautiful, but it is so fleeting. And it is lonely because I want to share all of those moments but also have this social anxiety that keeps me from really being able to invite people in the way that I want to. And perhaps it is more this push and pull between wanting people to be close and wanting to be able to experience things for myself.